Phan Fiction: Learning to Love
by EnglishLilac
Summary: Danisnotonfire/amazingphil love each other but dont know that the other person feels the same.
1. Chapter 1

Phil's POV

I rushed along the busy corridors, running late to the worst class in my curriculum history! People where going in the other direction as I rushed as fast as I could holding on to the papers of my history assignment that I had to hand in! I wasn't even really looking where I was going just trying to make up good enough excuses for why I was late!  
As I made my way out the door of the main building I rushed along the path not looking where I was going trying to count if I still had all my papers.  
BANG! I ran into someone and tripped and as I fell I dropped all my papers. The floor was wet from the rain and I could see the papers getting soaked! I tried to grab them quickly and it was good that who ever I had just ran into helped me. Barely looking up I collected my stuff, once done the person who helped me helped me get up.  
His hair was slightly damp from the rain and it had fallen in front of his eyes. He slowly flicked the hair out of his face and I saw that his eyes where hazel brown matching his hair. He looked perfect and all though obviously in a rush he stopped for a moment and said: "Hi I don't think we have met before I'm Dan I think we are in the same year." He didn't have to say that, I knew it, I had a crush on him since the day I met him He gave me a slight smile as a queue for me to introduce myself. Still looking at his perfect face I said: "Hi, I'm Phil."  
His girlfriend walked past and he slapped her on the bum. She turned slightly, and he kissed her then whispered something to her. I stood there awkwardly. I was in love with this guy! Watching him obviously being straight made me want to cry.  
Suddenly, the path was filled with girls staring at me and gathering around Dan. His girlfriend walked up to me and said: "We know your secrete, but Dan will always straight! So just leave you GAY freak!" The crowed around started chanting: "Gay freak, gay freak..." Dan smirked before turning away to be handed a knife, he stabbed me in the thigh and I screamed from the pain. Then lifted the knife up to my trout. "I never want to see you again!" He hissed to me. "I don't like gay freaks." He looked in my eyes for a moment before stabbing me.  
My eyelids snapped open, and I jolted awake. I repeated in my head: "It was just a dream Phil." I looked around my room in me and Dan's flat trying to calm myself.  
Slowly I got out of bed stripping of my sweaty shirt. Shit! Dan couldn't see me like this he would ask me what the matter was. As my best friend he was very protective of me and was always there.  
Trembling I made my way to the bathroom. Slowly I stripped naked before looking at myself for a moment in the mirror my messy hair and shocked eyes portrayed the horror that I felt in the dream.  
I got into the shower and felt the hot beams of water stream down my body. It felt good, it made me calm down and let me clear my head to think. These nightmares had to stop at first it only happened once in a few months but recently it had become a weekly occurrence. I need to find a way out of it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey hey people of the interwebs,**

**This the second part of my series, ANYWAY sorry its a bit too short, but I was pretty busy. Please review. Reviews= Improvement. Also criticism is fine, I am happy to recive anyway that would make you guys happier with this!**

**Love,**

**EnglishLilac xx**

Dan's POV

I woke up the Phil's usually morning noises, I heard the shower being turned on. I closed my eyes for a moment trying to imagine what it would be like to kiss Phil in the morning, opening my eyes to see him peacefully sleeping, kissing him awake.  
I shook myself out of the moment, trying to forget about it. Phil was clearly straight and I would never like to ruin what we had by freaking him out telling him that I was gay.  
Slowly I got out of bed checking my alarm clock, 9:00am. Phil is going to a lecture at 9:30 so he is probably about to leave.  
I slowly walked out of my room pulling on a hoddie that Phil got me. I had taken a year off uni after having a massive meltdown, so when Phil had lectures I would spend my day playing video games, watching youtube, and of course waiting to see Phil again. I remember when I first met him, before then I didn't believe in love at first sight but he was the most wonderful person I had ever met, and on that day when I bumped into him in school I knew that there was no other way. I have been going in and out of relationships since then, I always end it after a few weeks since no one can make me happy enough. Snapping out of memories I walk out of my room, just catching a glimpse of Phil as he rushes into his room wearing nothing but a towel. I smile for a moment seeing his muscly back. "Phil you want some tea?" I call. "Sure tea sounds good, can you toast some bread for me? Oh, Sarah is coming over after my lecture, she is my new girlfriend, so yeah you better be ready to listen to some loud music or clear out." He jokes as he walking into the room. I smile in return, as I feel my throat tighten. I turn away pouring some tea in the mugs. "I wanna go and meet some mates at the pub this afternoon anyway, so I sure won't be here." I lie, I will probs just go and get drunk on my own. I did this every time Phil baught a new girl home.

He stuffs the toast in his mouth and rushes out the door. And I slumped down on the couch and began to cry.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey hey people of the interwebs,**

**New chapter today, will probs have another chapter out tomorrow. I decided to make them short so I can keep your attention for long enough. Reviews please.**

**Love,**

**EnglishLilac xx**

Phil's POV

How stupid can I get? Why would I say that! I am trying to find a way to hint to Dan that I love him and I am very sure telling him that I am gonna shag someone tonight is not the way! He clearly doesn't get it! He thinks I'm straight he seemed fine with me saying that I was going to bang a girl! Oh God this is the worst thing I ever.  
I rush down the stairs trying not to hate myself! The stairs seem to take much longer then usual as if they want me to go back upstairs! But no I can't , I would tell Dan but he can never know! Ever!  
As I get to the bottom floor I check my watch 9:32 I'm late! There is no point in going anymore so I angrily wack the up button on the lift. There in no way of avoiding this next moment! I know it!  
I slowly opened the door to our flat and sunk in as quality as I could. Unzipping my jacket I heard someone crying in the next room! Shit! Dan was crying. I rushed into Dan's room and saw him lying on his bed crying his eyes out. As I closed the door behind me he looked up shocked. "Dan are you ok? What's the matter?" I asked stroking his hair. He looked me "Jane just broke up with me" He lied. He said they broke up last week. "Really Dan, what's the matter you said you broke up with her last week." I said, he looked me shocked, his eyes filled with tears, then he covered his face again, crying worst then before. "Dan I have to tell you something." I softly siad still softly combing his hair with my fingers. He looked up, with his red rimmed eyes. "Look Dan I don't know why you're sad but I must tell you something. I lied to you Sarah won't come over this afternoon, all those times when I say I am bringing girls home, I just come home alone and spend the evening usually playing video games." Dan looked at me with a tear rolling down his cheek, with a confused look on his face. He leaned a bit closer to me. "Phil I don't understand why would you lie to me about bringing girls back to-" I cut him of with a soft kiss that I have been waiting for since the day I met him. He didn't push me away but pulled me closer, putting his arms around my neck.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey hey people of the interwebs,**

**So new chapter. ALREADY proud of me, I need help with ideas since I will soon start running out and I do not want to make my stories completely unimaginative.**

**Love,**

**EnlgishLilac xx**

Dan's POV

"Phil I don't understand why you would lie to me about bringing girls back to-" He cuts me off by pressing his lips against mine very softly, slightly hesitating he keeps his hands in my hair and starts to comb through it. My heart is jumping with joy, Phil Lester the man of my dreams is kissing me right now! I slowly put my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. He smells of peppermint and coconut, and as I touch is hair I feel it is still a bit damp from his shower.  
After a moment which seems to last forever Phil pulls to take a breath, "Phil why did you wait so fucking long to do that?" I asked sounding a bit to aggressive. "Dan I never thought you would feel the same way!" He said a bit out of breath. "I fell for you the day we met Dan but I never thought you would except me this way!" I look deep into his eyes pulling my finger through his hair. "Phil, nothing you would ever say would stop me from loving you, you are the man who proved to me that love at first sight dose exist!" We stared at each other for a moment realising that we had loved each other for much too long. "Let's get you cleaned up Dan." Phil said pecking me slightly on the lips but I pulled him close to me not letting him go. I kissed him again then started kissing his neck. He laughed slightly before pushing me away slightly, "Dan I don't want to move this fast OK. I don't want this to ruin out friendship, I want this to be an emotional thing, not only physical." He looked at me, and I let my grip go slightly. "I love you Phil with all my heart and will be there for you always, I don't care what happens but you need to know that just being around you makes me happy!" He stroked my cheek "I love you too Dan"he said softly and stood up holding out his hand. "Let's get you some tea." I smiled at him and said "Tea sound fine but only if we can say it will be accompanied with at least a 2 hour long Buffy the Vampire Slayer marathon." I said grinning at Phil. "You never change Dan, do you?" He smirked leading me out of the room.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello ppl of the interwebs,**

**Sorry this is so late but I had quite a busy week and week end so yeah. However here it it!**

**Love,**

**EnglishLilac**

Dan's POV

Phil lead me out of the room grabbing my hand. He sat me down at our usual 'news desk' and started making tea. I couldn't help but stare at him, the way he moved, the way his hair swished around when he turned, and all those little details that no one other then me could spot.  
I was shaken out of my trans when Phil put the cup of tea in front of me. I looked into his blue eyes staring at them and I leaned in to kiss him. He received the kiss gladly and rubbed his fingers against my hand making me tingle all over my body. Phil was my soul mate, and I wanted him closer. Half leaning on the counter I embraced his neck and awkwardly began to climb on top of the counter. I could feel the edge of Phil's lips curl up as I pulled myself closer to him, he put his hands on my waist and let me lean on him slightly. As I ran my finger through his gorgeous hair I felt his hands slowly move up and down my back, I squiled slightly causing him to stop for a moment before I reassured him that I liked it by slipping my tongue inside his mouth he helped me off the counter still not breaking our kiss. I slowly began to tug on his belt when he broke the kiss. "Dan! What did I say, I want to take this slowly." He said backing away slightly. "I'm sorry Phil, look your just too beautiful for me to stay away from you, I have wanted this for so long I just want to rush into it, but if you want to take it slow I'm fine with that." I said taking a step towards him. "Really? You would do that?" Phil asked like an exited little boy, running back to me, and pressing his lips against mine. "Yes Phil, I love you." I said whispering while holding him tighter. "Oh, Dan I almost forgot, did you say something about watching Buffy for two hours." I smiled at him and picked up my tea as we headed back to my room.  
I fell asleep that night in my bed with Phil's head resting on my chest, we were both excused from the emotional and confusing day we had. "Dan Howell you are probably the gayest British youtuber well maybe except for Phil." I taught to myself, and fell sleep.  
I woke up the next morning and opened my eyes to see Phil peacefully sleeping next to me. This was the exact thing I dreamed of the night before, just me and Phil. I leaned towards him to kiss him when my phone rang. A bit annoyed I trued around and snached it off my bed side table. "Daniel, this is your mother, I can't believe you never told me you were gay with that friend of yours, ummmmm... Phil." She chattered down the phone. "Mum, what are you talking about where did you get that from?" I asked a bit confused. "What do you think Daniel, your new video on youtube of course!"


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey hey people of the interwebs,**

**So new chapter, please review and leave things that I could improve, I promise to update soon.**

**Love,**

**English Lilac xx**

Chapter 6

Phil's POV

I woke up to Dan slamming his laptop. "You could have woken my up nicer" I said my eyes still shut. I got no answer. I opened my eyes to see Dan sitting up on his bed half sockef his laprop next to him on the bed. I pulled myself up and sat next to him giving him a kiss on the cheek. Then taking advantage of his silance I pulled him towards me and kissed him. Slowly I kissed along his jaw line and down his neck. He grunted slightly and pushed me down on the bed. I giggled and let him lie on top of me. He began to kiss my neck and stroking my hair as I lay on the bed paralysed by the pleasure. He slowly began to suck on my neck making me grab him and let out small grunts of pleasure. "Dan please.." I moaned, getting very turned on as he massaged under my shirt. He stopped sucking and looked at me, "What Phil?" He asked in his sexy morning voice. "You do know that. You are giving me a serious love bite. Everyone will see at my lecture tomorrow." He laughed slightly before going back to sucking my neck again. "Screw it, over 3 million people know that you belong to me already." It took me a few moment to work out what he said. I pushed him away sitting up really quickly. L"Dan what the hell did you just say?" I half snaPped at him pulling down my shirt. Dan looked at me before getting his laptop. "I said that tons of people already know that we are together. Look at this." Dan showed me a video, it was titled Phan Fiction Come True? The video showed musltiple shots of us making out in the kitchen and Dan's bed.  
After the video finished there was this awkward moment of silence. "Dan! Why the hell did you post that on your chanel without me knowing." I asked fighting the tears swelling up. "Phil, I should ask you the same thing." Dan said in a very flat voice.  
After watching a second vidoe that was exectly identicalon on my channel we were left shocked and very silent. All of a sudden I just couldn't hold the tears any longer I just burted into tears burying my head in Dan"s chest. I don't know how long I cried for but when I calmed down and looked up at Dan he seemed as peace ful as ever, like nothis ever happened. "Look Phil someone must have hacked our accounts but we all know that many people know what is going on now. There is no point in deleting it I'm quite sure many people screan. Caped the pictures so there is nos o escaping this." This news made me let out a small sob. "Look Phil we are going to have to embrace it and we need to find the camera in our kitchen and my room too." I gave Dan a weak smile and I leaned up to kiss his cheek. "Let's go find the cameras" He whispered, like it was ment to be something sexual. I giggled slightly and let him lead me out of the room.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey hey people of the interwebs,**

**Sorry I couldn't update but here it is the new chapter. Also I would appreciate it if you checked out my new fanfiction about BertieberG. Don't forget to rate and stuff.**

**Love,**

**EnglishLilac xx**

Chapter 7

Dan's POV

"I've got the last one." I said, ripping a camera out of the wall, with is a large amount of dust that made me cough. Our flat was now sufficiently in ruins as we had taken out a large amount of the walls in each room. I looked down at Phil, who was impatiently awaiting sitting on the kitchen counter. All of a sudden he stood up on the kitchen counter, he was now as tall as me standing on a small ladder. I giggled slightly as he stepped closer. He smiled at me before giving me a loving kiss. I kissed him back, slowly curling my arms around him. "Hey gorgeous." I whispered looking into his icy eyes that were filled with passion. He looked so gorgeous, his hair was messy from sleep and a bit curly. He wore his usual pyjamas with his lion t-shirt. "Do you want to go to dinner somewhere tonight?" I asked softly, he answered with a small smile and a nod. This was when my phone started vibrating in my pocket. I grabbed in out of my pocket to see an alarm that said "PJ coming to stay over 2night". I looked up at Phil putting the phone back in my pocket. "Shit." I whispered. "Phil what are we going to do, PJ is coming to stay with us tonight. He has probably seen the video." I began to panic, and slowly tears began to roll down my cheeks.. "Its OK Dan. PJ will be fine about it, remember he is our friend, probably one of our best friends. Being gay doesn't change us at all." I looked up at him, still standing on the counter. "Are you sure?" I said falling to the floor, and curling up. "Dan I now so." He said coming to sit down next to me. We don't even have to talk about it to him. He respects our choice. Do you want me to get you come chocolate?" I nodded sniffing slightly, yet on the inside I was screaming.

Around 8 the door bell rang I was on the sofa with Phil's head resting on my lap. "That's him." I sighed, starting to get up. ' "Its fine Dan, I'll get it, you just look at how diner is going." I nodded standing up, paralysed with fear. I walked over to the kitchen looking into the oven to see how the fish was going and started to make salad. I heard Phil open the door, and PJ saying hi. "Come on in" Phil half sang with joy. I carried on with cutting up the lettuce. "Dan PJ is here." Called Phil. I whipped my hands and turned around to see PJ standing there in his usual Legend of Zelda shirt, I gave him a slight smile and walked over to hug him. "Hey PJ! How are you?" I said trying to sound normal, but my voice cracked. PJ ignored it and carried on the conversation.

Soon enough I got back to making the food. Phil walked up behind me and kissed me on the neck slightly. I carried on with the serving. "So I heard about you two being together." PJ said. I turned around to see the usual PJ standing there. Phil slipped his hand into mine and smiled. "Yeah its not been very long, but we are really happy together." Phil said, squeezing my hand slightly. "That's good, but the account hack was horrific!" PJ said "I have to admit I saw the video." He added smirking slightly. "Yeah that was pretty bad, but I think its better to let people now then hide away forever." Said Phil. I nodded in agreement, beginning to smile. Its ok Dan PJ is fine with it, he is still your friend whatever happens.

The rest of the evening went very well, we all had lots of fun chatting and eating. I relaxed about the fact that PJ knew and I slowly became more and more friendly.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey hey people of the interwebs,**

**Two chapters at once! Please check out my new fanfiction, about BeritebertG it has lemons. So yeah.**

**Love,**

**EnglishLilac xx**

Chapter 8

Phil's POV

It was 2 am when we decided to head to bed. "PJ you can sleep in my bedroom if you want, there is a double bed in Dan's room." I said. PJ didn't hesitate as he was pretty clear about me and Dan being a couple. We kissed once or twice that evening but we weren't conformable with the idea of showing our affection in front of PJ or anyone to be honest. I headed into Dan's room and began to strip off. I only had my jeans on when I felt the warm kiss on my neck, I turned around to see Dan, he smiled at me before kissing me. He pushed me down on the bed and lay on top of me. He smiled slightly before giving me another kiss. Dan started kissing my neck before moving down to my chest. I began to tug at the bottom of his shirt. He got the hint and took off his shirt to revile his six pack which could only be slightly seen. I ran my hand down his chest making him smile before beginning to kiss his chest. He let out a low moan and he began to tug on my trousers. To his surprise I began to undo my belt. "Phil are you sure you want to do this? Your drunk." Dan asked. "Yes I now you do, cause I love you Dan and I want to prove it to you." Phil's said still fiddling with my belt. "Phil you don't have to prove it to me, I now you love me." He hushed me, sitting up. I looked up at him, his hair a bit messy and his eyes still a bit red rimmed. "Dan, maybe lets say I want to do this for myself, cause I want to feel you closer." I whispered pulling him back down next to him. "Phil, I don't think I'm ready. All this time I have been pretending that it was you who was scared and now I realise the truth, I am the one who is scared." Dan said nervously, barley being able to look me in the eye. I was a bit surprised to hear this. Dan was the one who lost his virginity when he was 15, he was the girl magnet, he was the one who got attached by screaming fan girls on the main street on Manchester some times. I was the weaker one, the more innocent one, yet he was the one who was scared of this. I smiled at him moving closer to hug him. "Its ok Dan, I understand, I am your best friend remember, I'm not just you boyfriend." I whispered to him before gently kissing him. This was when I first realised that he was my boyfriend, I mean I hoped he was. "You are my boyfriend aren't you?" I asked slightly hesitating, looking into his hazel eyes. "Yes Phil, I am pretty sure you are my boyfriend….I mean we are in love." He said reassuring me. I leaned in to kiss him, before resting my head on his chest. He stroked my hair gently running his finger through it. Slowly my eyelids began to grow heavy and I fell asleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey hey peoples of the interwebs,**

**Sorry for not updating, my life has been very busy, however here it is! Hope you enjoy please remeber to reviwe and tell me stuff i need to improve, cause reviwes=improvement and more of what you want.**

**Love,**

**EnglishLilac xx**

Dan's POV

It was a few weeks later and the warm summer afternoon made us both very sleepy. Phil leaned on my shoulder as we lay on the grass in our favourite park. We were both very full after our romantic picnic. I was very happy, my feeling of doubt had left after PJ came to stay with us. Like Phil, I decided to make our relationship much more emotional then physical and although we had gotten lots of creepy fan mail encouraging us to make "2 youtubers, 1 bed". To be honest I felt neither of us were ready for it yet, both of us were very innocent in some ways, and although I had violently banged a girls against my head board before, I decided it was time to change. Past Dan was nothing like current Dan probably for obvious reasons including the fact that past Dan preferred would have never thought about sucking a dick, well at least that was what past Dan made himself think.  
"Dan?" Phil said sleepy, looking up at me. "My friend want us to meet her. I agreed to see her tonight, is that ok, just for a couple of drinks." I smiled at him, kissing his forehead, "Sure Phil, that sounds good, I'm fine with that!" Slowly we packed up, making our way home. I showered and got dressed, Phil told me to dress slightly formally so I wore, black skiiny jeans, my joker t-shirt, my usual news blazer and black army boots. Phil looked pretty similar, and as our hands entwined we made our way out of the flat.  
This small meet up turned out to be a party, Phil was as surprised as me, and as soon as we entered stared wide eyed at the large crowd of people gather in Kate's house, sitting and sanding around drinking and talking. We decided not to hide who we were and kept holding hands. Soon enough Kate came up to us "Hi, guys! Oh Phil its so great to see you, and its very nice to meet you..." She faded out. "I'm Dan, Dan Howell." I said reaching out my hand as she shook it. Kate was very bubbly and organised; she easily kept about 200 people happy for a whole night.  
The night was going great, but then I spot her. Phil was passionately kissing my neck when I saw her staring at me from across the room, Georgiana Smith, my ex girlfriend. Her eyes were slightly squinted as she ran her finger through the end of her long black hair. "Shit Phil." I whispered making him look at me. "Georgiana is here!" Phil quickly glanced around and spotted her. "Shit! That not good." He vigorously whispered, trying to get me out of the room by dragging me though the crowed. He made his way up the stairs into a small room, that turned out to be the guest bedroom. "How do you know your way around Kate's house so well?" I curiously asked, looking up at Phil, raising an eyebrow. "Its a long story! I will tell you once I get that fucking Gorgiana bitch out of her." He said, waking out the door.

I stood there for a moment in silence, thinking about what was happening, when the door opened. Quickly I turned around to see so not Phil, but Gorgiana. She walked up to me in her super high heals and tight black dress. "Its nice to see again, Howell." She said pushing me onto the bed. "Get the fuck off me!" I said pushing her away, yet her thin arms were stronger then I thought. "I know you missed me babe." She hissed, her lips only a few millimetres from mine. "I think it happened otherwise." I said still struggling to get up. Violatly she pushed me down on the bed, straddled me and starting to suck my neck. "Get the fuck off me." I shouted, trying to find a way to get out of her tight grip. Suddenly I flipped her over and know I was lying on top of her. This was the moment when Phil walked it. "Oh Dan you didn't say that gay fuck would come back." Said Gorgiana glaring at Phil. The shock and terror that was carved into his face made me want to cry. "Phil it isn't want you think it is I promise." I said climbing off the bed. As the first tear rolled down his soft cheek he turned around and slammed the door.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey hep peoples of the interwebs,  
**

**Here is another chapter, please remeber to reviwe and also add me to your faveourites if you enjoyed this!  
**

**Love,  
**

**EnglishLilac xx**

Phil's POV

I walked back into the guest room, and that when I saw my biggest fear of my life happen. Dan was laying on top of Gorgiana on the bed, her dress slightly tucked up, both of them out of breath. My mind was filled with horror and pain was I froze completely trying to fight back the tears. "Oh Dan you didn't say that gay fuck would come back." Said Gorgiana glaring at me. I didn't even care any more. Dan had scrambled off from on top of that bitch. "Phil it isn't want you think it is I promise." Dan said walking towards me, I couldn't hold back my tears any more, and as I felt the first tear role down my cheek I turned and walked out of the room slamming the door after me. I didn't care if Dan saw, he was a fucking twat to throw away something as good as what happened between me and him, and go back to his physic ex girlfriend. Suddenly I began to understand what people meant about feeling all alone in a crowed of people, every one around me was laughing and smiling yet to me they were all dead silent staring at me as I walked out the door. The only thing I heard were Dan's desperate cries, as he tried to push his way trough the crowed to find me.  
As I shut the door behind me, the cold air hit my face and I began to sob, slowly walking home, I was shiver from the cold, as the ran hit my skin cooling me down. As I entered our flat, a strong pain hit my chest, the room that looked so friendly just this morning was now filled with small reminders of Dan, I looked around trying to find the few items of clothing that I needed. My phone was constantly vibrating, Dan's name flashing on the screen. I left my phone there, and went to my room, locking the door, I hoped that Dan wouldn't come home, yet I knew that so enough he would.  
At around 1:30 I woke up to Dan knocking on my door, "Phil, I can explain just let me, please!" He whispered, trying to break the door down. "There is nothing to explain Dan, its not like we were officially a couple or anything." I hissed, sarcastically turning over on my bed and closing my eyes, Dan gave up after about an hour. Through the whole time of him begging to be forgiven I was crying silently, the salty tears stinging my tender skin.  
When I woke up in the morning my mind was buzzing with sadness, I missed Dan a lot, whatever he did, didn't change the fact that I was in love with him. I decided I needed to face my fear and talk to Dan and find out what really happened. Quickly I went and took a shower and dressed up, they I left the room.

I slowly opened my door, trying not to wake up Dan, I needed to confront him, this was when I saw him, lying infront of my bedroom door unconscious in a pool of blood, sick, vodka and tears. His face was pale white, the only thing that had any colour was the dried blood on his skin His writs was scared with clotted blood hidding his flesh. In his other hand there was large knife covered in blood, this was when I realies, I was the reason why this happened if I had listened to Dan he would be ok now, I wanted to cry but I was to frightened to, my tears could not escape.


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey hey people of the interwebs,**

**So after people got crazy over the end of my last chapter, I decided to write another one. This one is really slash, there is nothing other the smut it here, so if you don't like that stuff don't read it. Also please review, cause reviews= improvement**

**Love,**

**EnglishLilac xx**

_Dan's POV_

I woke up to the gentle feeling of a wash cloth against my skin, my head was pounding and my wrist was stinging and soar. I opened my eyes to see Phil looking at me while washing some of the blood of my chest. "Hello." I said smiling at him, but as I tried to reach for hair a sharp pain ran through my wrist. This was when I remembered the night before, there were something man things I did wrong that I know regret but back then it all seemed right. Phil leaned down and kissed me. "You gave my such a fright this morning, you have to promise never to do it again!" I smiled and him nodding, "Can I explain now?" I asked looking up at him. He hushed me, putting a finger over my dry lips. "That can wait, its fine Dan." He said, kissing me again. It was so strange but I missed Phil every time he wasn't next to me. "Go back to sleep Dan, you had a really rough night." Said Phil, laying on my chest. "I love you Phil." I sleepily whispered. "I love you too Dan." Said Phil kissing me.

_(That afternoon)_

I woke up to the warm mid day sunshine hitting my bare chest, my mind was filled with only peace as I looked down the see Phil peacefully sleeping. This was my moment to do what I wanted to do for so long, I leaned down and kissed him whispering "Good morning Phil" gently into his ear. He sleepily opened his eyes looking up at me. "Morning gorgeous." He whispered before kissing my chest. "Phil, what you want to do today?" I asked smiling at him. "Its up to you really." Phil said sitting up, next to me. "How about we go out for dinner?" I asked smiling up at Phil. "Actually Dan, I don't think your well enough for that." Phil purred at me kissing me. "But I do know what we can do." I looked up at Phil raising an eyebrow. "Trust me on this." Phil reassured me.

_Phil's POV_

I knew that the moment was right for me to do what I wanted to and needed to do this. Slowly I got on top of Dan straddling him. He knew straight away what was happening, and chuckled slightly pulling my head down to kiss him. "You sure you wanna do this?" I asked. Dan nodded violently tugging on my shirt. I quickly took it off before beginning to suck on his neck, he giggled softly feeling my back. I could already feel him getting hard, I looked at him before kissing him deeply, our tongues danced and wrestled in our mouths as we enjoyed a deep and passionate kiss. As I pulled away to take a breath, suddenly Dan flipped me over, he was now lying on top of me, my legs rapped around his waste as he began to undo my trousers. "Dan, I love you!" I said looking up at him. He smiled at me and stopped fiddling with my belt for a second "Phil, I love you too but did u sleep in your jeans." He grinned at me. I nodded grinning back at me before undoing my belt. He quickly pulled my trousers off and I kicked them off the bed with my feet, he grinned when he saw my hard erected cock, slowly kissing me once more. Dan slowly began to kiss my neck before moving further down my chest, stopping for a moment to gently bite my nipple making me moan with pleasure. I smiled at Dan running my hands through his messy brown hair. After the moment passed and kept moving down my chest, kissing all the way down to my pelvic. The he looked up at me for reassurance, I smiled at him and nodded. He slowly pulled my boxers off to revel my throbbing erected cock, I never knew you could want someone this much. He gently stroked my erection with one hand making me groan, before putting the tip of my penis in his mouth, this made my hips thrust forward pushing my cock all the way to the back of his mouth and down his throat, Dan's gag reflexes kicked in making him take my cock out of his mouth before trying again. I calmed myself, letting him gently insert my cock in his mouth. He played around swirling his toungue around my hard cock. This turned me so much and I had to tilt my head back as I let out violent moans of pleasure. He slowly began to bob his head up and down. "Faster Dan! Please!" I moaned out of breath. He responded moving his lips up and down my shaft much faster. As the violent waves of pleasure bought me closer to an orgasm, I trusted my cock into his mouth. His throat tightened causing me to cum hard, filling his mouth with cum. I looked up at me, as a tiny bit of cum trickled down his chin dropping on his brown bedsheets. After swallowing the cum he dropped down breathless next to me on the bed. "You owe me big time." Dan grinned, "But I'm too exhausted to have sex with you right now." He added kissing me, gently stroking my chest. "Where the hell did you learn that?" I asked looking at him my eyes widened with surprise still from the amazing orgasm. He hushed me "Your going to have to wait to find out." Said Dan kissing me, before giving me a cheeky, sexy smile. "Now I'm gonna go take a shower." He said getting out of bed with his boxers on. "Would you like some food." He shouted from the kitchen. This let me think for a moment about what the hell just happened!


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey guys,**

**Hi. Yeah I know its been way too long but I am here again with another chapter. This one is not as long but I will have a new one by the end of next week. Please review cause it means I can improve it.**

**Love**

**EnglishLilac**

* * *

_Phil's POV_  
Today was the big day. I though to myself for a moment. I slowly kissed Dan on the forehead before getting out of bed. As I was about to open the door I heard Dan grunt from the bed.  
"Phil, babe where are you going?" He asked looking up with sleeply eyes.  
"I have a lecture today baby, remember?" I said looking at him, as he sat up in bed cutely running his fingers through his hair.  
"Do you really have to go?" Dan asked, his eyes wide open now.  
"Yes babe, I'm sorry, I will see you at about 6 ok?" I asked walking back over to him and kissing him deeply. He held my hand for a moment and then let it go. Nodding to say I could leave. I quickly pulled on my hoodie and walked out of Dan's bedroom. I decided to skip breakfast as I was late and walked out the door.

_Dan's POV_  
As soon as I heard the door click behind Phil I jumped out of the bed. It was a first month anniversary and I taught I would do something big for it. I quickly got dressed after taking a shower and went to the kitchen. I was planning to make a rainbow cake with chocolate icing and out names written on it. I know it may seem a bit excessive but I felt to happy that we were together.  
At around 5:20 when I finished cooking and tidying up I went to the bathroom to shower again. I but on a simple pair of black jeans and a black and white T-shirt. Easy removal was one of my priorities. I then put on my news blazer to make myself look more fancy, then applied a generous amount of Cologne. It was now 5:55. I quickly went to the kitchen and found the bottle of pink campaign with gold flakes in it. I took it from the fridge and placed it in a bucket of ice on the dinning table next to the cake. I knew Phil would be here on time. "He must remember, he must." I taught to myself as I waited. I heard to door click as I poured out two glasses of campaign and stood waiting for Phil by the dinning table.  
"Babe!" Shouted Phil as he walked in. When he saw me he gasped and ran over hugging me before pulling out a gorgeous bunch of roses from behind his back.  
"Oh I knew you wouldn't forget!" I said looking at him before kissing him gently. He put the flowers in water then walked back over to me.  
"Now what have we got here my gorgeous?" He asked taking one of the glasses. "This is very fancy!" He said kissing me again. "Oh you have outdone yourself." He added examining the glass of alcohol.  
"Phil. Baby. Let's have a toast. To us." I said raising my glass to his. The high clink on the glasses sounded so much more joyous then ever before. We kissed again, then cut up the cake. Phil was amazed about all the colours and amount of effort I put into it.  
"Oh babe! Don't worry! The flowers are beautiful you already out done yourself." I said kissing him again, this time more passionately, he leaned into the kiss, as I playfully bit his bottom lip and pulled it out.  
"I think we should go to my room." I said before picking him up. I walked him to my bedroom and dropped him on the bed. I kissed him before running back into the kitchen for the campaign, it couldn't be wasted.  
Walking back into the room I saw Phil lying on the bed stripped down to his underwear. His toned body lying out in front of me I instantly grew hard at the sight of his body waiting for me. I placed the campaign on the bedside table.  
"You've done it this time." I said leaping at him, and indulging in his body.

_3rd Person_  
Dan's thrusts were strong and passionate making Phil's breath harden at every movement. He screamed with pleasure when Dan hit is prostate and moaned when Dan sucked his skin. Phil came harder then every before on Dan's sweaty bare chest. The clench of Phil's muscles around Dan's length made him moan and shout Phil's name as he came. Dan pulled out before falling down next to Phil. They were both out exhausted and out of breath.  
"Phil, I love so so much!" Dan said pulling Phil on top of him.  
"I love you too Dan, and that was amazing." Phil said still panting, his hot sticky cum, clinging to his chest.  
"We can shower in the morning, these sheets were cheap anyway." Dan said, kissing Phil once again. Phil tucked his head under Dan's chin. Dan ran his finger's through Phil's hair making Phil smile to himself. He felt so safe in Dan's arm like nothing could go wrong, and nothing could hurt him, as long as Dan was by his side.


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey hey,**

**Sorry I know its been wayyyyyyy too long but here it is! Chapter 13! I will try and put up 14 in the next few days, so we shall have to see! Please review as that equals improvement.**

**Love,**

**EnglishLilac**

* * *

** THIS IS SMUTTY! DON'T FLAME I TOLD YOU! IF YOU DON'T LIKE SMUTT, THEN DON'T READ IT PLEASE.**

Chapter 13

Dan's POV

I woke up to the small beams of late morning sunlight. Looking around I found myself alone in my messy bed. I picked up my phone. "11:25 am, yesterday evening was a lot of exercise for me then." I thought to myself, and smiled and the previous night activities. I got out of bed and quickly went to take a shower. When I exited the bathroom a sweet smell of chocolate hit my nose. I walked into the kitchen in my boxers too see Phil put a small tray out of the oven.  
"Morning beautiful." I said, embracing I'm from behind and gently kissed his neck. Phil turned around kissing me passionately.  
"Hey you have some mixture on your nose." I said, before poking out my tongue and licking it off the end of his nose. He giggled slightly as I did.  
"Yesterday night was wonderful, lovely." Phil said to me as he locked his hands around me. I looked him lovingly, and this kissed him on the cheek.  
"What are you making anyway?" I asked looking at his left over mixture. He smiled at me and tapped his nose gently as to say its a secrete. I chuckled slightly.  
"I'm gonna go put on some clothes." I said turning around. Phil grabbed my hand and pulled me closer to him.  
"Why? You look so amazing like this." He purred. "You are so sexy." His breath was against my cold skin, his fingers traced down my spine, I shivered slightly from the strange pleasure, he slowly kissed my neck and traced his index finder across my chin. My breath hitched, and I could feel myself getting turned on. I looked at him as he naughtily chuckled before moving one hand down to my crotch. My breath hitched again as he grabbed my half hard cock through my thin boxers. He slowly kissed my neck.  
"You know just because you were the dominant one, that doesn't mean you always will be." He purred in my ear and then kissed me. He gently bit my bottom lip and pulled it slightly, his hand was still grabbing my now fully erected cock. I swear that I had never been so turned on in my life as I was at that moment. Lost for words I just stood there my hand around his neck as he worked is way from one side of my neck to the other. He stopped kissing me for a moment, and stared at me with his lust filled eyes.  
"You don't even know what I'm going to you Mr Howell." I purred at me before sucking on my neck. I finally came back to my sense and began moving my hands around his back trying to pull off his T-shirt. He stopped all of a sudden and looked me in the eyes.  
"Let me do this Dan." He said, looking at me.  
"Fine." I said. "Please just hurry up I will literally cum before we even got close to having sex if you." I sounded a bit too frustrated, but Phil clearly liked it. He liked have power over me. He went back to kissing and sucking my neck. He let go of my crotch and reached out his hand, leading me into my room.  
The bed was still messy, and the wrinkled sheets lay on the bed. Phil lay be down and began taking off his clothes off, when he was wearing nothing but his boxers he straddled me beginning to kiss my neck again. He now moved my chest. He spends a considerably amount of time sucking on my nipples which made me moan with pleasure. He then kept going down my chest until reached my hip bones. He kissed them, as they unhealthy stuck out. Than he made his way to my crotch. Quickly Phil removed my boxers, revealing my very hard cock that was already covered in pre-cum. He touched it lightly with his fingers a few times. I had enough.  
"Seriously Phil you better move fucking fast before I literally start wanking." I said looking at him angrily. Again all I got in return was a small chuckle. I began moving my hand down to my genitals, but Phil slapped them away, I was about to snap at Phil again when I felt his tongue swirl around the tip of my cock.  
"Fuck." I muttered, trying to stop myself from slamming my cock deep into Phil's hot mouth. It was as if my prayers had been answered. Before I knew it my full length was in Phil's mouth. He began to furiously bob his head up and down.  
A few minutes later I felt an orgasm coming. What did not help was seeing Phil jacking off while still sucking me off. As I almost came I thrust my cock finally, after all that will power. The feeling of Phil's throat clench around my cock was enough for me, and I came hard in Phil's mouth. He came almost instantly after I did, his load shot on the already cum stained sheets. He looked up and my with tired eyes smiling. A large drop of cum rolled down his chin onto the sheets. He swallowed quickly and lay down next to me before kissing me gently. I smiled at him. We were both out of breath.  
"You know Phil, I don't exactly mind not always being dominant when we do things like that. I mean as long as you don't tease me so much next time." I said smiling at him. He looked at me lovingly.  
"I love you Dan." He said tucking his head under my chin.  
"I love you too Phil." I said back to him. "I thing we should sleep for a few hours, I mean its only like mid day." I added chuckling before closing my eyes.

I felt Phil's fingers resting on my chest. At that moment I knew life could not get better.


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey guys,**

**Its not been that long, sorry I was away for xmas but here it is! Please review and enjoy!**

**Love,**

**Englishlilac**

* * *

Phil's POV

1 month later

I woke up to Dan walking around his room. It must have been late afternoon. as the light was pale. The sky was clear, and the early winter. Dan turned and gave me a cute little smile before coming over and kissing me. He straddled me and kissed my neck.  
"Dan," I said as he continued kissing me. "Why aren't you naked? I prefer you naked." I said still a bit sleepy. He laughed at that than sat up on top of me.  
"Because you and me are going on a date, I made reservation for 7:30 you have about 1 hour to get ready, so hurry up sexy, I want people to feel jealous. So they can look but can't touch." He said before diving in and nibbling and kissing my neck for a few moments, then we was gone. I lay there for a few minutes wondering how I could have found someone as gorgeous as Dan.  
I took a shower, dressed, straightened my hair, and was ready to got at 7:00.  
"Perfect timing." Said Dan after I met him at the front door. He quickly kissed me before helping me put on my jacket then putting on his own. We linked hands and walked the door.  
The night was cold, and crisp. We could see our breaths as we walked to the station. On the train we got many looks, and probably the kissing did not help. I thought Dan was partly showing me off, all part of his little plan to make me feel amazing about myself.  
We walked into a very fancy restaurant at 7:29 Dan's timing always amazed me. We were soon showed to our table which was cornered off so we had plenty of privacy. We sat down.  
"Well this is very nice." I said looking at Dan.  
"It was either this or take away and video games, but I wanted to make this special." Dan said smiling at me. He seemed very happy, it was amazing to see that all this happiness came because of me. We just looked at each other for a while, then Dan broke the silence.  
"Phil?" Dan asked looking a bit nervous. "Can I ask you something." I realised that he seemed very tense. I nodded still smiling at him. He took a deep breath and looked at me. Than he took a small blue box out of his pocket. I felt butterflys in my stomach. I couldn't believe it he wasn't about to... Dan got on one knee in front of me. "Philip Lester. You are everything to me. I have never felt as incredible as I do just being near you. The idea of loosing you makes me so sad, so I want to be able to keep you. Will you marry me." He said before opening the box to revel a thick silver ring. On it was "P+D" engraved.  
"Yes Dan, of course I will! I have never loved anyone more than I love you. Loosing you would be like having half of my life taken away from me. Just knowing that I will have your company for the rest of my life is enough to make me happy forever." I said before hugging him. He put the ring on my finger which fit perfectly. Dan kissed me passionately.  
"You know I also want a constant flow of amazing sex. But that's just a bonus." He whispered making me giggle. He kissed me again.  
"This is definitely better than being straight." I chuckled before kissing him. He smiled at me and said.  
"Phil, I love you."  
"I love you too Dan, and will always will." I answered.  
I knew at that moment, as I kissed him that our love would last forever, and nothing could part us.

**THE END**

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**Yes we have come to a glorious end of Learning To Love! Hope you guys liked it, I'm currently working on my next fanfiction which maybe KicktheStickz or something about Tom Milsom! Will keep you guys updated. I just want to say thank you for all the lovely stuff you guys wrote and for sticking around when I was a lazy ass.**

**Thank you,**

**EnglishLilac x**


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